He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize