Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she looked like the before picture.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
