Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize