I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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