Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize