I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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