some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
