Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize