look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
