i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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