just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
