I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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