Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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