When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
