Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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