we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
