He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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