were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
