I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
