I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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