I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
