I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize