i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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