Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Congratulations! We have a period
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
