it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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