This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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