How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
