4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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