too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
