he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
God gave him joint rollers for hands
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
