i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
so much tequila, so little girl.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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