Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
