when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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