Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
please come you make the beer taste better
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
