i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize