just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
