shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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