I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
