brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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