I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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