sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he was CRYING into my vagina
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
