i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
