Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
