on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize