You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
