I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Never joke about your clitoris.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
