Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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