At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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