Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
