he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He felt like a one man threesome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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