Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
