Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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