i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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