Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
