It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize