ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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