U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
