I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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