The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
