do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
