dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
